I Got Your Back!

4 03 2010
The term I got your back is used quite frequently.  We hear it on TV shows and movies, in rap songs and on street corners.  But I wonder where it came from?  If I were to guess, I bet it is a term that is used in the Army and/or Navy etc.. in combat.  Because when you are in combat, you are usually focused on what is in front of you and something can easily sneak up behind you, unless you have eyes in the back of your head OR you have someone there to look out for what may come up behind you because they Got your Back!   I know if I were in combat, knowing someone was watching my back would give me an assurance so that I could fight confidently and not have to look over my shoulder.  It will give me the ability to not have to worry about if my back is compromised.  Well this is also something that you feel when you truly love someone and someone loves you back.  You feel covered.  You feel like someone always has Got Your Back!  You feel protected and safe because you know someone else is watching out for your best interests.

However, this same statement can be said in reverse and said this way, “Watch Your Back!”  This term is usually said by someone who is trying to do you wrong and hurt you and plans to come after you when you least expect it.  Who would want someone on their team that they could not trust? Why would you want someone around you that made you feel like you always had to be on edge?  Instead we all want to have folks around us that have our back!!!  That loves us unconditionally and will always support, protect and cover us, especially when we are under attack!!!  Just ask Tiger Woods….he is in a HUGE battle…. and while I am not condoning what got him into his current troubles,  I bet he is really learning who has his back.  Ya know why, because if someone truly has your back, this applies to them

 “Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. – 1 Corinthians 13: 6 & 7

So this whole notion of I Got Your Back, is not just about feeling safe in general, love is exercised at its highest level when you are TRULY going through.  Yes honey that is when you need to know your back is covered the most!   It’s like when that one person starts to tell lies about you, it is the person who has your back that knows who you are and defends you, despite what others are saying about you.  Why? Because she has your back!  It is the mate who spends some money they know they should not have spent, think Walter Lee in “A Raisin in the Sun,” but you love them despite the very BAD decision they just made that affects the both of you.  Why?  Because you have his back and you are with him for the long haul.  You both know that what he just did was stupid and you forgive him and you begin to work together to repair what is needed.  You see when you truly have someone’s back; it is not based on condition.  You can’t decide tomorrow, I don’t like the way they handled that so I am out of here!!  That ain’t having someone’s back!  However when you are able to stay in the good times and the bad, you know like the wedding vows, for better or for worse, then you know that your back is covered.  

Let’s stop and think about it for a minute, for better or for worse is a commitment that is pledged by two people who enter into a covenant and agreement by way of marriage however we also make this commitment when we call someone a sista friend or family.  This commitment says that we are partners; we are together through it all, the good and the bad.  We are together because I have your back and we will fight this fight TOGETHER and both come out as victors.  The key here is that both of you have to fight.  It does not work in combat if one is fighting and the other is not.  Why?  Because if only one person is in the fight that would mean that while they were covering their partners back, their back would be compromised.

The other piece to loving without condition is to forgive.  To forgive when someone wrongs you, hurts you and  then to let it go and move on from it.  This can be hard in a relationship but when two people really love one another and are both willing to work toward repair, then the healing of the broken relationship can begin…..that is the true gift of unconditional love and it cannot be one partner who exercises it to work.  Both must fully exercise it in order to take turns covering one another’s back as needed.  So  if life is a battlefield, do the people out in the field with you, your friends, husband, children then that you have Got Their  Back or do others think…You Better Watch Your Back?   Ask this same thing about your friends, family, and mate you have in your life….does their presence in your life say I Got Your Back or You Better Watch Your Back? For if it is the later, more often than the former then it is time to take a moment to rethink about how much love you have in your life and how you can get rid of those in your life who make  feel like you have to look over your shoulder.  Why?  Cuz honey living having to look over your shoulder is no way to live!!!  YOU want to give yourself the ability to not have to worry about if your back is compromised.  Instead everyone wants to feel covered, protected and safe because only then will you know that these people in your life are watching out for your best interests. And only then do you feel like someone always has Got Your Back! 

 “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.  This is why right, temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.” –  Martin Luther King, Jr.

 “The test of friendship is assistance in adversity, and that too, unconditional assistance.  Co-operation which needs consideration is a commercial contract and not friendship.  Conditional co-operation is like adulterated cement which does not bind.” – Gandhi

 “When we make the choice to fill our heart space with unconditional love, our worlds blossom into a beauty far greater than we have known.” – Rio Godfrey

 “I come from that society and there is a common thread, specifically family values – the idea that you do anything for your family, and the unconditional love for one’s children.”  – Ednita Nazario





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