The Way You Make Me Feel

1 07 2010
In tribute to the death of Michael Jackson a year ago last Friday; I had to at least start one of our blogs with a title of one of his songs. But really that title also speaks to this quote by Maya Angelou…

 “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The key to kindness is really having a pleasant disposition.   It is learning to handle people in a loving and cheerful manner despite the situation.   Think about it, if you are at work, no matter what field you work in, sooner or later you have to win someone over.  It could be a new boss, a co-worker that you have been assigned to work on a project with, a client, etc…. By being pleasant and jovial, cordial and friendly you are able to be build trust, and a good rapport that you will definitely need to work toward that end goal in any relationship.  This pleasant disposition is helpful in moving you toward the results you wish to achieve with this person.  So what if that person is less than pleasant and are hard to deal with?  You can’t do a thing about how they act or react but what you can do is put a smile on your face and let it shine through you. Eventually the sun will dry up all of that rain in the other person’s personality. If you don’t believe me, give it a try. Put on that charm the next time you are dealing with a difficult person and watch how God parts that red sea for you. Keep in mind that this will not happen over night but with effort, patience and time the sea will part.  

The point is, if we can choose to have a pleasant disposition it will enable us to have better interactions at work, at home, with our friends, in the organizations we are apart of etc… People are drawn to folks with a pleasant personality because just being around these kind of people is easy and refreshing, it makes you feel confident and sure of yourself.   You definitely want to leave any room you enter having people say, “she really was a nice woman,” “I really like her.”  So how can you do this?  

  1. Let go of negative.  You know the bad habits we all form overtime, the one’s that make us feel like we don’t want to be bothered or less than friendly.  The one’s that have you rolling your neck and waving your finger in folks face? Actually maybe I am talking about me…LOL.  Some of you know that I used to not be a morning person so HONEY I tell you dealing with me in the morning used to be less than pleasant.  However I decided one day in 1994 that I wanted to make a change.  To do this I asked all my friends to check me on my funk.  It took some time and a whole lot of effort but once I began to be one of those people that smile at everyone and say good morning to all, I realized that starting the morning in a positive disposition then stays with me all day long.   I also realized how good it feels to be nice for a change.  I felt as if a dark cloud just lifted right off of me.
  2. Think about how your personality affects others.   You never know how one smile can brighten someone’s day and how the exact opposite can have a negative affect beyond just that moment.  You never know what other folks are dealing with so focus less on how they are and you focus on being the best you, you can be at all times.
  3. Learn to listen Not just with your ears but also with your heart.  Sometimes you can see hurt in someone’s eyes or feel it in their spirit if you just stop long enough to listen.   Listening can provide insight to why someone may be having a less than stellar day and give you that much more incentive to be kind.  After all you never know what folks are dealing with so listen with your heart.
  4. Focus on keeping a smile on your faceI know this can be hard on those less than perfect days but trust me sometimes that smile outside can start to make you feel good inside.  I have even seen how a smile at an Ex boyfriend after a bad break-up can make him feel like he was the loser (and HE WAS….LOL) So overall, try to maintain a positive outlook despite how you feel.
Think about it,  we were not put on earth alone. So how we act and interact with other people is important.  As a matter of fact life is all about interacting with others.  How we speak and address folks defines our connection with folks whether it is for business, a family member or a friend.  How we express our thoughts and how we express what we feel makes a difference in building a relationship with anyone and also has to do with what impressions we leave upon the world.   The question to ponder for this week, is in what ways do you make people feel?  Would folks define you as the sun or the rain?


 “Don’t wait for people to be kind. Show them how.”
— Author Unknown

 “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition”.

– Martha Washington

“You’re Just a Product Of Loveliness
I Like The Groove Of
Your Walk,
Your Talk, Your Dress” 
– Michael Jackson from his song “The Way You Make Me Feel”





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