The Point of no Return

14 07 2010

“To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love.” – Oscar Wilde

An act of kindness is really doing something for someone and not expecting anything in return.  You know an act done with no strings attached.  Without holding out your hand saying OK so now what are you going to give to me.  So when I think about kindness that way, it makes me think of motives.

A motive really is something that causes a person to act.  So what are your motives?  What causes you to demonstrate acts of kindness? Truly knowing yourself is  to know that your behavior is in direct relation to what your motives are.   So what motivates your actions?  Your motives are really created from the s inner desire of your heart which then create your outward action.  It is the “why” in what we do. Ya know if you ask yourself “why did I do that”, the answer would give you your motive.  Whys is this so important? Because if you really think about it people really do define themselves by what they do. 

So what is your Why?

  • Do you do what you do because you truly want to make others happy?
  • Do you do what you do because you need a favor so you do something for someone so you can ask for something later
  • Do you do what you do because this person is important and you want them to like you
  • Do you do what you do because you are looking for a hook up?
  • Do you do what you do as a act of love?
  • Do you do what you do out of obligation?
  • Do you do what you do so that the other person will feel guilty and want to do for you too

The question we begin to define in asking all of this is, what is the  inspiration behind all your actions.  As we do, we can begin to see if we are focused solely on self or on others.  How often do you do something thinking to yourself  “what do I get out of it” If this we do this, than the act we are doing is not out of kindness as what we are doing is about ourselves and not about the other person.

 And whoever exalts himself will be abased (or humbled) and he who humbles himself will be exalted”.Matthew 23:12

An act of kindness is really not self seeking but is humble enough to give and not expect anything in return. Being humble really is not thinking about yourself but thinking about others.  So if you find yourself doing things so that YOU get something out of it, it’s time to turn the tide and find a new perspective – that is the point of no returm. It is a call to unselfish thinking. To do this you must first figure out the reason you choose to act and your intentions in your relationships, the decisions that you make, the gifts you give,  services you offer or don’t offer and the results that you achieve.  Often times the we receive the gratest return when we hgive and no expect anything to come back to us.  This is what sme call karma as what you out out comes back to you….so what is it that you want to come back you? Give it to others and watch what one unselfish act does to you.

 Here are a few tools toward learning to live and not expecting anything in return

  • Learn to live with unselfish thinking.  To be unselfish is to  disregard your own advantages and welfare over those of others
  • Know why you do what you do.  Check your heart and understand where your motives are coming from
  • Live focused on making the world a better place, every tiny action we take, either works toward that or against that.

A thought to ponder over this next week… Imag­ine a world where peo­ple only gave to oth­ers in order to get some­thing directly back….. thinking of that truly gives me perspective to the point of no return!

 “If you hold your hand closed, nothing good can come in. The open hand is blessed, for it gives in abundance, even as it receives.”Biddy Mason

 To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one’s own in the midst of abundance. – Budda

Be unselfish. That is the first and final commandment for those who would be useful and happy in their usefulness. If you think of yourself only, you cannot develop because you are choking the source of development, which is spiritual expansion through thought for others. – Charles William Eliot

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