For Your Own Good

5 08 2010

So many of our blogs have discussed things we heard as children.  We may not have gotten it back then but now as we have become seasoned in life, they take on a whole new meaning.   Like back in the day you all remember your parents saying to you, “this is for your own good.”  “You mean I am on punishment for my own good; I am getting a spanking for my own good; I can’t go to Friday’s night’s school dance for my own good?!”  Ohhhh We!!!  I can remember how much that used to burn me up thinking “how can not getting to do something that I want to do, be for my own good?  How is getting a spanking, for my own good!”  Thinking about that now, it takes on a whole new meaning as I realize that every action has a consequence and back then it was my actions that made for the consequences I did not like.  It was those acts of punishment that were actually for my own good as they were to teach me a lesson about action and consequences.  Those same lessons I learned as a child definitely stay with me now as I know that if I spend more money than I make, I’ll be in debt. Action = Consequence.   But if I save, I’ll be prepared for a rainy day.   When I hang out too late, whew it is hard to get up and go to work in the morning!  Action = Consequence.  If I eat all I want to eat, I will see it produced on my ever spreading hips, Action = Consequence …should I go on or do you get what I am trying to say.  In life everything we do is an action and what is produced because of that action is a consequence.

 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” – Galatians 6:7

The key to learning to live your best life is to only perform those actions that will produce the consequences you want to manifest in your life.  Therefore, our parents disciplining us as children, was so that we can learn that ever action has a reaction that gets produced in our lives.  It means that if I want to acquire wealth, I must save and invest some money, so every now and then I can’t buy those pair of bad shoes that I want. Knowing what’s for my own good really does mean taking ownership that my actions cause a reaction which becomes the consequence.  It means that I have to have that will power, that discipline to know that putting those bad pair of shoes back on that rack is for my own good.   So knowing what is for my own good really is learning to take responsibility for what I do.  Stop and think about it, are you able to accept responsibility for your actions?  If not, it could be due to a few reasons as to why you are finding it hard to own up.

1. Feeling Less Than.  This happens when you are constantly being put down, yelled at, or if you were emotionally abused as a child and the feelings these things produce just don’t not go away overnight!   This could also come from feeling less than because your family did not have money, you never felt smart enough, cute enough, or worthy!   If you have never felt supported in who you are or something happened in your past that you are embarrassed or ashamed of, this can cause you to feel less.  When you feel this way it gives you a lack of confidence in self and therefore how do you know what is for you own good if you don’t believe you deserve anything good to happen to you?  Well if this is you, I am here to tell you, YOU DO DESERVE IT!!!

2. Thinking you are All That–   On the exact opposite end of this continuum are those folks that think their SH** don’t stink, as my aunt would say.  These are the folks that feel over confident as if they are untouchable so they can do anything and it will not affect them.   When in fact these folks are usually so insecure that their grandiose behavior is really over compensating for what they really feel, less than.  These are the folks that are trying to prove a point so they buy things they cannot afford, live in homes well above their means, wearing clothes they charge up on their credit cards.  Eventually this keeping up with the Joneses mentality catches up with them with bad credit, foreclosed homes and broken relationships. So just as the first category, this woman finds it hard to know what is for her own good for she does not truly know who she is as she is hiding so that others cannot see the real her.

3. Playing the Victim– Some people are always blaming everything and everyone else for why they are the way they are or do what they do.   These folks attribute everything else but themselves to the reasons why the results have turned out the way they have in their lives.  These folks are not able to accept responsibility for their own actions.   It’s time to look in the mirror.  As my Pastor used to say…if you point a finger at someone else 4 fingers are still pointing back at you. It’s time to look at your role in where you are.

Pretty much all 3 of these folks cannot take a moment to look at themselves. Ladies we all have good and bad moments and it is about falling down and getting back up that we learn what is for our own good. It is finding the lesson in every mess up that we can then learn life’s greatest lessons however it is hard to fess up to a mess up when you are feeling less than, all that or playing the victim.  If we are not willing to take a for your own good moment and grow from it, we will stay stuck in a continuous pattern until we learn that lesson.  That was indeed the point of us being punished as children….so that we could learn what is for our own good and move on from making the same mistake time and time again. Think about it for a minute, if knowing what is for your own good is hard for you, start by accepting your imperfections and then take the time to learn ways of taking responsibility for your actions, knowing what you can change and accepting what you cannot.  By doing so you will be taking ownership of your possibilities to a whole new level, just simply by knowing what is for your own good.

 “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.”  ~David Brinkley

 “If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”  ~Author Unknown

 “Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”  ~Peter T. Mcintyre

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