Be a Woman of Your Word

16 09 2010

As we talk about faith, just as we must build our faith in God, we in turn must shine that same light on others.  So out of all the characteristics a person has, one of the most important is for someone to know that they can have faith in YOU, for them to know that they can trust you. Building trust takes time and can easily be diminished in a matter of minutes.  It is all based in our actions.   Are you someone that does what you say you are going to do?  The foundation of who you are really are does lie in if folks can trust you.

As a matter of fact, the more trustworthy you are the larger your sphere of influence.  If you don’t believe me think about it, if your friends, family, co-workers, your boss, the women in the organizations you belong to…. EVERYONE you come into contact with, if they know that you are a woman of you your word, then they have confidence in everything you say and everything you do. The more trustworthy you are the more people want to have you in their lives, they want you on their committees, they trust you with projects and with their children, they know that they can count on you.   However if you lose that trust it is hard to get it back.  Just think about it, have you ever had someone promise they were going to do something and then they don’t do it?  Do you remember how that made you feel?    Well here are a few things that will guarantee you are a woman of your word;

DON’T MAKE EXCUSES.  The quickest way to lose trust is to make excuses, because 9 times out of 10 people can read right through them.  So if you are running a little late, be courteous enough to call and tell the person who is waiting on you, don’t wait until you get there and make an excuse. Don’t commit to something you know you can’t do, that way you don’t have to make excuses later about not doing it. If something comes up, have enough respect in your friends, co-workers who ever it is as well as in yourself to…..

TELL THE TRUTH! One of the major things I leaned when growing up is honesty is the best policy.  So for me, it is important that I am truthful with folks and that they are truthful with me.  Being honest, especially in situations where there is sensitive subject matter, is very hard to do but sometimes that information is crucial for the person to know.  What do I mean?  You know when you find out that your friend’s husband is cheating on her or something like that?  Well in situations like that again, don’t lie but you may need to asses when and if she is ready to hear this sensitive information as well as the best way to share it.  You definitely don’t want to kill someone’s spirit but you definitely want to share information that is important.  So you determine when is best but again don’t lie.  This also applies to talking behind folks back.  As I used to say when I was little, Don’t be 2-faced, smiling all in my face and talking behind my back is a no no.  If you are brave enough to say it about me to others, as a true friend you should also be able to say it to me as well right?     Don’t be fake ladies! 

BE CONSISTENTYou want to always be the same person day in and day out.  Let me put it this way, what if you were looking for a new hairstylist, would you want someone that on some days would fix your hair and it looks great and sometimes your hair looks bad? Pretty much every t9ime you show up for an appointment you never know what you are going to get.  What you want is someone who always manages to make you look fly right? Well that is what I mean by constancy. It is following through every time.  It is being who you say you are, doing what you say you are going to do and keeping your word. However there will be times that you mess up, and that is totally normal just fess up to it and don’t act like nothing happened.  As we used to say back in the day “your word is bond”, so acknowledge that you made a mistake so you can learn from it and move on.

DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO.  Don’t commit to doing something you know you can’t do. Only say yes to doing things you know that you can follow through with.  Now every now and then, something may come up that prevents you from keeping your commitment, but first and foremost always try to keep the commitment you made.  Don’t be labeled as a flake, someone no one can count on.   However if something does come up that is out of your control, you know like a sick child, your boss has called you into work, a death in the family etc… be honest with the person and reach out to folks and tell them why you may not be able to keep your commitment. It’s important that you share with whoever you have committed something to your inability to follow through.   On the same token some of us need to learn how to say NO.  You should never feel pressured to participate in an activity that you know you can’t do. Don’t over commit!

Keep in mind that there really are no shortcuts to building trust.  Consistency, honesty, authenticity and sincerity go a long way in developing relationships. The more trustworthy you become the more opportunities you will have to show who you are and what you can do. Don’t waste your time trying to prove yourself! The proof is in the pudding!   Do exactly what you say you are going to do and be exactly who you are, don’t try to be something or someone else….yes it really is that simple. The thought for each of us this week is, how can I build trust?  How can I do better with being a woman of my word?

“Your faithfulness makes you trustworthy to God.” – Edwin Louis Cole

 “A true friend never breaches the trust of his companion or stabs in his back.  He is trustworthy and reliable.  One should therefore always try to be a true and reliable friend.” – Sam Veda




One response

16 09 2010
Darrylon Evans

This is such an excellent post! It speaks volumes. Its good to be reminded to be a Woman of my word! Thanks Nicole.

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